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Imagine..

Meeting someone new that you thought will be just acquaintance
Hanging out just because you live nearby
Having supper and meeting every other week
Becoming the best friend you can ever be
Realizing that she is unique and you like her
You have really fall in love with her, that behaves like a him

Finally falling in love with someone for the longest time
Trying to make it known but failed on first attempt
Being awkward for the next few months
Trying another twice yet fail again unknowingly
Taking a step back and say let's just be friends
Your heart still wants her but everyone says no
Choosing to leave the country and leave her behind

Wanting to get all the updates about her
Waiting eagerly for her calls that are so rare
Smiling upon chatting because at least she is happy
Hearing her say she is together with another guy
The guy is who you entrusted her with because you can't be there
Talking to him because he is who you can know more about her
Slowly become good friends with the one who loves who you love

Having her fill your mind everyday for the next 3 years
Watching her fall in love finally though not yourself
Being jealous yet feel happy for her at the same time
Not being able to be there when her loved one left
Not being there when her other loved one chose to left

Having the choice to return to Singapore
Fearing that you will get rejected like 6 years ago
Falling sick, so sick that you might not recover
Wanting to tell her that she still holds the same place in your heart
Praying that she will be genuinely happy again one day
Praying that their love will be strong to bring them through

You truly want the girl you love to be happy
You really don't mind giving her up not because you chose something else
You want her to keep holding faith
You need her to be strong and accept what comes along
You wish you can help the both of them to get back

Coughing your lungs out for the past 2 weeks
Waking up from the breathlessness that is so terrible
Still thinking of the 2 of them and what went wrong
Wanting to help them clear the air
Praying everyday so that god is graceful and let you stay alive
Telling yourself that you will do anything to help them

Friends telling you that you are stupid
Everyone says it's stupid to love for 7 years
Everyone says the guy is a jerk and she should give up
You still think you entrusted her to the right guy
Talking to him again because he's also your friend
Being closer to him that you are to her now

Hoping that she will read this when you know she won't
Hoping that he will read this when you know he won't
Hoping that both of them will read this and treasure their love

Imagine..

My health is in mess. The report came back, and I will be receiving treatment next week on top of the tonnes of medication I was prescribed. God, let me get pass this ordeal.

Die with your memories, not dreams. I have so many things undone.

Woke up from breathlessness, and coughed out a little blood. My body doesn't seem right, but my doctor suggest that I wait for the report. In the mean time, I'm hugging Maxy every night. When I'm younger, we played every day. I got busy and neglected you as new friends came into my life. Slowly, friends and I drifted apart, but Maxy didn't. Thank you Maxy and no wonder they say, dogs are men's best friend.

Maxy, you're turning 13. I wish I can have you forever.

Early dinner at 5pm and I think I better get my body checked. My breathlessness got worse and I look like I'm panting worse than Maxy. I dreamt about meeting you after close to 6 years and strangely, in the dream, we were still as close as before which I know is no longer the case.

Read about how much you are doing for dogs now and I am really proud of you. You are the kind of girl everyone wants. So dedicated to the cause you believe and I really wish your wish will come true. You are so strong despite all that happened and please be brave like your puppy Brave and Brave through everything. I felt so low reading your posts because I own dogs myself and I know it must have hurt so badly when they left one by one. I mourned over Macy's departure for more than 7 months. And I am sorry to not be there when uncle left. I'll get going and walk little Maxy now to keep both himself and I fit.

I woke up from shortness of breath, trying to gasp for air. That feeling is scary, and mum suggested that I observe myself for another few days. It feels like I'm falling sick. It don't quite feel like myself. Maybe I'm lack exercise, and I should get going with tennis once again.

Had a talk with Melvin, and interestingly he told me what you are feeling. I just feel like if there's one thing I can do, I will do my all to help you find back yourselves. My silly girl, I really admire you for your faith and faithfulness. There's a reason why I always say you are special, you are really unique in your own way. Keep your faith, I trust that God will help you and guide you through..

Back from school from an early day. Last lap and I am looking forward to working, because it's time I start doing something rather than wasting time in school, letting time tick away. I feel so troubled reading your blog, but you refuse to share with me. What happened to our endless chats? What happened to us talking about everything under the sky? Now, it seems like you will only confide in Melvin, and he's so selective about sharing with me.

He knows you better than me now. He is in the exact same position as me. So near yet so far. We all know what you want, what you are still waiting for even though chances are slim. I just hope both of you can be happy because I treat both of you as friends, and be it getting together or going separate ways far away from each other, so long as both of you are genuinely happy, I'll support both of you.

For myself, I went to Wisconsin cos a short break, away from everything. The scenery is breathtaking and I wish I can be there every weekend. When was the last time I went there? Maxy got so grouchy that I can hardly move him out of the yard so he didn't join me for the 2 days short trip. Driving alone is tiring, but it was a good break for myself. Love is so hard to come by, yet I see two who's in love fall out with each other because of miscommunications. Dear God, I pray they will get through this and emerge stronger. You are not broken, so don't fix what's not broken..